Gilbert

Gilbert Cloud Strife, commonly known simply as Gilbert, is the town fool and is looked down upon by other residents.

Biography
After the death of his beloved wife and son, Gilbert was rendered insane. Since that day, Gilbert drags a stick around town while staring into the eyes of all who pass him by. In 2008, Gilbert was charged with assault and battery, after he projectile vomited at Mayor McCheese, causing him to fall down a nearby mineshaft, shattering his skeleton all over. Gilbert received a plea deal from authorities in exchange for supplying information on the Wu-Tang Clan. Gilbert walked out of Police Custody, and was not seen for many years. After walking into the town of H3NTA1 Remastered, Gilbert simply never left, and the day after his appearence, a humble abode was constructed downtown, where he now resides. Gilbert's knowledge of Microsoft Excel has allowed him to earn some form of monetary wealth, by supplying graphs for people to use on their Word documents. Despite this, Gilbert is only ever paid in coupons, which he hoards in a pocket realm only accessible to him and Huey Lewis, of Huey Lewis and The News.

Personality and Interests
Gilbert tends to hyperfixate on obscure sequels to beloved franchises as he has maintained the ability to be the antithesis of individuals who are unable to only communicate in pop culture references. Gilbert listens to Death Grips but is unable to comprehend the lyrics as he is normally high on crack when listening to music.